I didn't sleep much the night before I left for Kansas...at this point I've lost the memory of what I laid there thinking about, but I think I wish I would have written it down. It could have been extremely insightful. I actually had a lot of peace that Saturday morning. Drank coffee. Had breakfast. Talked to Mom and Jess.
Getting dressed was a bit of a scene however. I had picked out my clothes before, pretty much knew what makeup I would wear, but had a heck of a time with jewelry. Yes jewelry. What does one wear to meet their father? At first it was pearls. Ya can't go wrong with pearls right? They're timeless. And too short for my neckline. Then it was the pretty 3 diamond necklace I got for my 39th birthday. That would be perfect...and too long. Why the hell was I perseverating on jewelry? Because I wanted to feel pretty, proud and confident. So FINALLY, I decided on a long chain with white stones embedded in it and wore it as a double. Jeesh, glad that was done. Bags packed, repacked and completely ready. I let my kid's dad know I was ready and he could come anytime...and by the way could he please bring an Americano with French Vanilla Creamer? He called me the high maintenance ex. That day I was for sure, and I was okay with that. Thank God so was he.
Steve and Diane had sent me flowers for Valentine's Day...I felt soooo spoiled and the kids were sent a package. Well it hadn't come until just that day. When the kids and their dad came to get me I took it to the care so that they could open their gifts. Inside, a Kansas University shirt for the boy and a very cute red heart watch for the girl. I took photos and text them to G'ma and G'pa Wilder. So cool.
SeaTac was so non eventful that quite frankly I can only remember checking in...only because I forgot my coffee on the counter...sacrilege! I apparently boarded and found my seat without any trouble and met a Financial Advisor from Bellingham, traveling to Miami to work and look at women in bikinis. "Eye Candy" he called it. Apparently, Bellingham is not a bachelor's paradise. He asked where I was traveling and why. I told him. His mouth dropped and was amazed. He asked some questions and then settled in to study for the test to get into financial grad school in Chicago. I took this as a nudge from above and studied for the GRE-cause I bought the GRE for Dummies book right? Might as well use it! That it took my mind off other things was just a side note.
As we flew into Denver, I thought for just a fleeting second...I was born here. Then the realization of only having 10 minutes to get to my next plane took over. Luckily it was at the very next gate. I boarded and sat quietly for a long time. The woman next to me struck up a conversation about living in Kansas. I asked what it was like. She said, "The people of Kansas are the salt of the earth." I liked that. She asked why I was visiting and I explained my excursion. She gasped. I mentioned that my life was currently much like a Hallmark channel movie. She laughed and we proceeded to have a wonderful conversation that calmed my ever tingling nerves. So thankful to that woman. As the plane arrived in Wichita, I was so calm, so put together. I was so proud of myself.
Then I walked down the hall to the lobby. Just at then end before I rounded the corner, where I knew I would see my father for the first time since I was little, I started to panic. Hyperventilate and had to stop. Catch my breath, say a little prayer and then begin the journey to a reunion of family lost and then found.
I saw them before they saw me. My father and his wife looking, looking, looking at the faces in the crowd. I waved and they saw me. Both waved back. About 20 yards away, I couldn't stand it anymore, I instinctively started running. I was thinking, why I am running...I look like such a nerd. So did he and I got he biggest hug you can imagine. I tried not to cry, but the tears just started coming. I wept and giggled and couldn't believe my biological father; the one I have wondered about and wished to meet and wanted to know wanted me wept and giggled too. What a lovely reunion.
No comments:
Post a Comment