"He'll Come Find You One Day"

Those were the words my grandmother said to me many, many years ago while discussing my biological father. "He loved you and he will come find you." I wasn't sure, it had been so many years and I just thought that would never happen. The story I had in my head was that he chose to give up parental rights so Craig could adopt me. That was so long ago and now I have heard some differing information. I really am not ready to find out the real story, but I will...eventually.

For now, I want to share the last week and a half of my life with you. On Oct 27th my former husband, Mike, brought me a letter. When I first looked at it, I was sure it was my handwriting I was looking at and I was sure it was probably from a doctor's office or something. Then I skimmed up to the return address. Wilder-in Kansas. I had to sit down. Immediately all the emotions from 38 years came crashing in my ears. The room actually did spin a little bit-I only ever thought that happened in movies...

I tore open the letter and it was from a man whose name is Steven Wilder. He said he knew me when I was little and that he wasn't even sure I would know who he was. Well, boy diddy, I totally knew who he was. He was my biological father. The one I had always wondered about...Did he really love me as Grandma and my uncles had said? Would he pursue me one day? That would be yes, he did. And I was knocked off my rocker.

Over the years I had been curious about this Steven Wilder who was my bio dad. But I knew nothing except my mom met him in Nebraska, she got pregnant, they married and lived in Denver. They split and Mom and I moved back to Hastings. Mom and I moved to Spokane, she met Craig, they got married and Craig adopted me. End of story. My mother was not so big on talking about Steve-which I get; a relationship that did not end well and produced a baby-I perhaps wouldn't want to talk about that pain either. Finally, I just gave up talking to Mom about it and so every so often I would as Grandma questions. She was always open and honest. I am grateful to her for that.

As time went on the internet came into play and every so often I would look him up. I didn't know anything but his name, so maybe I found him or maybe not over the years. I guess it doesn't really matter now. I didn't try and contact any of those men because I didn't want to hurt my Dad and I knew my mother would be mortified. In the last couple of years; however, Dad said that if I wanted to find him I could. So I've mulled it around, did a little investigating, but it never went anywhere until now.

The first thing I did, was call my sister. That is what I always do with big news. I think she was in just as much shock as I. "What are you going to do?" she wanted to know. I told her I was going to email him back the next day. He must be going crazy wanting to know if I got this letter. Good, Bad or other, the man needed to know he found the right daughter.

So I did. And so started a week of email conversations I will write about next...Life changes in one breath-I now have had the experience for myself and I know it is true.