Butterflies Approach

Today is the first time I have felt physically nervous about meeting my Kansas family. It actually ran through my mind that I could cancel my trip. I wouldn't really do that however; I would be a liar if I said it didn't go through my mind.

I have been wanting to get a some little gifts for my niece and nephews-I know how to smooze the kiddos-and so I wrote to my sister.

All of a sudden that small feeling of panic came creeping in like the first snow flake that falls every so slowly out of the sky in ever so slow motion.

My mouth watered, my stomach tightened...I felt the good old not good enough fear come slowly, upon my body and set me off kilter, just a little bit.

How will I fit in?

Will it be uncomfortable?

What if the family does not like me?

What if I am an emotional train wreck?

What if my brother feels I am intruding?

What if I don't get along with my sister after all?

What do I call Diane and Steve?

So many insecurities I figured would eventually arise. Now they are here and and I am just not so sure how to handle them. So I pray and plan and think positive thoughts...and the butterflies approach.